Straight Talk About Real Life
Today we’re continuing in our series “Straight Talk About Real Life.” We’ve looked at “Straight Talk About Problems,” “Straight Talk About Relationships,” “Straight Talk About Change,” “Straight Talk About Forgiveness” and today I want us to engage in a little “Straight Talk About Stress”.
Stress is something that each of us can relate to. When we talk about Real Life, stress has to be included. It is a major part of life in the 21st Century. Many of the physical and emotional troubles we deal with in our daily life are a result of stress. But many of mistakenly believe that stress is something that comes at us from the outside – from external causes, but it’s not. It’s something that’s caused inside each of us. When we get under stress we blame our circumstances. They are not the cause of our stress. Stress is the response to those outside circumstances. Stress is in our minds. It’s how we react to circumstances. You could put two people in the exact same circumstances and one will be stressed out and the other is not. Why? It’s the way they think about it. Stress is a combination of emotions. Worry, guilt, fear, bitterness, anger, tension, anxiety – all these things put together based on a way of thinking. That’s why the Bible says if we want to deal with stress, we’ve got to change the way we think.
In II Timothy 4:5 says, Paul says to his young apprentice, Timothy, “keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of you ministry.”
Stress is the exact opposite of “keeping your head, enduring hardships and doing your work.” It causes us to lose our heads, be overwhelmed by our hardships, and it keeps us from accomplishing the work that is before us. I can remember being a freshman in college, and I was completely overwhelmed by the assignments that were looming large on my horizon. I was really freaking out about it! I would sit in my room, or in the cafeteria, and say over and over, “I just don’t know how I’m going to get all of this done!” I had never experienced anything like it before – High School had been so easy – college required a lot of work!
Finally one of my friends, who was two years ahead of me, said, “Bob, will you shut up about all that you have to do, and do something!” I was allowing the stress to paralyze me – and as a result the stress got even worse, as the deadlines drew steadily closer.
Some of you know what I’m talking about – it may not be college assignments or homework – it may be money, or some relationship, or a job situation – but the stress in our lives can paralyze us if we will let it.
So, with all these sources of stress, how do we learn to “keep our heads” in these situations? Well, the Bible offers some practical teaching that I believe can help. In Philippians 4:6&7, Paul wrote to a group of people who were stressed out. He wrote:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (NIV)
To be “anxious” means to be “pulled in different directions at the same time,” (that sounds like stress doesn’t it?!) and that’s how many of us feel this morning. You know what I mean, don’t you? There is so much to do that nothing gets done. And it’s all seemingly important stuff! We wish that it was as simple as “just cut back on the unimportant stuff!” It all seems to be important. Most of us are trying to balance good things – take the kids to soccer practice, go to Bible study, keep up the house, fix the car, finish the project at work, read a story to our little ones, spend time with our husband or wife. Life seems to have a grip on us instead of us having a grip on life. In fact, the old English word for worry means “to strangle.” Sometimes if feels like life has a strangle hold on us. This out of control feeling can lead to major stress, and stress is unhealthy. And if we try to ignore our stress it will work it’s way out in some negative form or fashion. Worry and stress leads to headaches, neck pain, stomach problems and even back pain.
Listen to these words, “I am bowed down and brought very low, all day long I go about mourning, my back is filled with searing pain, there is no health in my body.” These words of David were not caused by illness, but by stress. In a couple of weeks we are going to talk about depression, and we’re going to come back to those words. But they point out something very important – Stress is part of our lives – even the lives of people who are godly, even Jesus had a stressful evening!
Perhaps no one has ever been as stressed in the history of the world than Jesus was on the night before His death. Often for us, the stress comes because we are not sure about the future – for Jesus, the stress was because He knew all too well what the future held. And the night before He was crucified He went to the Garden of Gethsemane loaded down with stress. He knew the awful abuse, pain and death that the next 18 hours held for Him…and what did He do? He prayed!
So how do we practically handle the stressful areas of life? How do we get to the point where we are “not anxious about anything?” Paul gives us some excellent advice in our text in Philippians.
Real Stress Requires Right Praying – Phil 4:6&7
When stress strikes - strike up a conversation with God. Those words we read from David earlier about being low, and feeling ill, and being torn apart by life – they were all uttered in the context of prayer. When Jesus faced His most stressful night, He went to the Father in prayer. Think about that for a moment. The Son of God felt the necessity to pray when faced with stress – shouldn’t we do the same? Paul thinks it is so important that he uses three words for prayer in this one sentence. He uses the words “prayer, petition and thanksgiving .” The first word, prayer, is a general word that refers to making our requests known to God – it carries with it the idea of adoration, devotion and worship. When we get into a stress-filled situation, we need to get alone with God for some times of worship. Prayer is, primarily an act of worship. It is a bowing to God – acknowledging that He alone can meet our needs – that we alone can not hope to make it.
The second word is petition. It means to sincerely and honestly share our needs and problems with the Father. The key here is out attitude. God is not interested in our high and mighty words – we don’t have to use a lot of theology or King James English to get through to God – in fact, Jesus chastised the Pharisees for their long-winded prayers! God wants us to be sincere and honest with Him. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Tell Him? Do you need help? Ask Him! Are you angry, frustrated, lost, desperate? Express that to Him!
On Monday of this week, I set aside a 6-hour period to pray and seek God. I picked up and read a bunch of the Psalms of David. It doesn’t take long to get the idea that David was not afraid to be honest with God. He tells it like it is – “God, where are you?” “God, I need you!” “God, don’t forget about me!” “God, rescue me!” Go back to the Garden of Gethsemane, and listen to Jesus prayer on that stress-filled night – He prayed, “Father, if there is any other way, please show it to me!”
God loves it when we are sincere – when we are real, when we express honestly how we are feeling – not because He doesn’t already know how we feel – He loves it because it is in those desperate, honest moments that we are really being intimate with Him – baring our soul before Him, and He gets to show us just how much He loves us.
The third word Paul uses for right prayer is thanksgiving. God wants us to say, “thank you” when He answers our prayers. This week I had a chance to be with a gentleman who was so frustrated with his life – he felt like the world was just beating him down. He needed God to intervene for him – he didn’t know how much he could take. He was at the end of his rope. I said, “Well, I don’t know, but it may just be that God needed to bring you just to this point before He could answer your prayer.” He called me later that day, his prayer was specifically answered exactly how he had desired – and you know what he said? He said, “Thank you, Jesus!” Back in Luke chapter 17, Jesus healed 10 people of leprosy, but only one came back to say, “Thank you.” Jesus was astounded that the other 9 would not return to express their appreciation for this huge miracle. We need to remember to say “thank you” when God answers our prayers – and He does.
Right praying encompasses all these elements. Bowing in prayer as an act of worship, honestly and sincerely sharing our needs, and gratefully recognizing God’s provision. But the secret is not in some magic formula, it’s in doing it! Paul says, “Don’t be stressed out about anything – pray about everything!” This is not limited to the big things in life – we are to pray about everything in life – when we do, we take a major step toward reducing our stress level. It allows us to place our problems in perspective – When we remember that God is in control, and He will see us through. Verse 7 tells us that prayer will calm our hearts because we know God is with us we experience his peace.
But prayer alone will not get us through our stress filled days. It is the important first step, but Right Prayer must be followed by Right Thinking. Philippians 4:8 is a great outline of Right Thinking. We are to be thinking about things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely and good. Much of the stress we feel is actually due to “mind games” that we play with ourselves. A recent study on stress and worry showed that of all the things people in the study group worried about, only 8% were actual, legitimate issues. The other 92% were imaginary problems, or were somebody else’s problems that the person was choosing to worry about!
Listen to this verse once more:
whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.
Now listen to these words from David in Psalm 18:
7 The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; 8 The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; 9 The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.
The Word of God matches up with the way we are to be thinking. We need to be thinking Biblically – and that only happens by being into this word. Read it every day. Immerse yourself in it – I’ve lately taken up the habit of reading the same passage daily for a week or longer. It allows me to begin to have those words right at the forefront of my mind. In fact, Philippians chapter 4 is known as “The Peace Chapter.” If you are experiencing a lot of stress and worry in your life – make a point this week of reading this chapter every day at least once a day for the week to come, and see if the Peace of God does not fill your heart and mind.
Getting relief from our stress is a combination of peace of heart, and peace of mind. We need to practice Right Praying and Right Thinking, but there’s one more step that needs to be taken.
Real Stress Requires Right Living – Phil 4:9
Take a look at verse 9. Here’s another one of those places where I like to take people who say the Bible is complicated. Paul says, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me, - put it into practice.” Someone from Nike must have been reading this verse when they came up with the marketing slogan that said, “Just Do It.” It’s pretty practical.
It’s one thing to hear, receive, and watch good living – it is another to put it into practice. In fact, if we are living a life that has lots of information, and is aware of the truth of God, but is undisciplined and refuses to follow that truth – then, folks, we are going to be people who experience stress! We will be laden down with a load of guilt and shame – we will be constantly beating ourselves up over the hypocrisy in our lives. And beyond the stress we put on ourselves, the fact is that when we are not being obedient to what we know, we deny ourselves the peace of God. Look at the end of the verse. Paul says, “put it into practice, and the God of peace will be with you.” When we are not exercising Right Living, we can not expect the peace of God and the God of peace to be with us. In fact, a lack of peace may be an indicator that we are living in disobedience.
Stress is a major part of life in the 21st Century, but we can be freed from stress when we follow the principles outlined in Scripture. We can either submit our hearts and minds to God, and practice right praying, right thinking and right living – or we can go on living a life that wants to tear us apart. It is our choice – we don’t have to be overcome by stress and worry. With the peace of God to guard our hearts and minds, we can have calm in the stormiest place.
Prayer