The Battle In The Trenches: The Battle Buddy
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
“It is not good for man to be alone…” In the first three chapters of Genesis, when God creates everything out of nothing, after each day’s activities, He closes out the day by reviewing it and declaring, “It is good.” The only time that God says, “It is not good,” is when he refers to people being alone. “It is not good for us to be alone.”
It is not good for us to be alone. Psychologists, who simply won’t take the Bible’s word for it, have done studies about contact deprivation, and have determined that the Bible is right! Isn’t that nice? They have found that a child can have all of its physical needs met – nutrition, clothing, hygiene – but still will be found week, sickly and in danger of early death if they are denied regular human to human contact.
Those same tests have shown that in the absence of parental contact in infancy, children will find surrogate contact points, like a mattress, pillow or even a piece of cloth that they will caress and hold out of a deep seeded need for companionship. A grown man, stranded alone for four years on a deserted island might even make a friend of a volleyball out of a similar need…
Scene from CastAway – Wilson – needed relationship…
One psychologist, John Bowlby, concluded from his research that we need “strokes” [the term he used to denote human contact] as much as the air we breath, the water we drink, and the food we eat. We need connection for survival. God simply said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”
What is true in the physical and emotional part of our lives
is also true of our spiritual existence, Our lives are made up not only of a personal journey with God, but with
interpersonal relationships formed with other human beings. God designed us
from the very beginning to be social creatures. He knew that we would need
relationships and would need intimacy with others to fully function the way
that he created us to live. Not only is that true of us individually, it is
true of the church as a whole. In today’s world, as we engage in the Battle in
the Trenches, it is not good for man to be alone.
Today we want to look at a section of scripture that helps us to realize that
we are not only created for relationships, but we are better off because of our
relationships.
God created us to live in relationship. That truth is stated and demonstrated throughout Scripture. Of course there’s Genesis, “It is not good
that man be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18) The book of Biblical wisdom that is Proverbs stresses the
importance of good companions over and over.
Pr 27:6 - Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Pr 27:9 - Perfume and incense bring joy to the
heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.
Pr 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Our relationships with one another are essential to life. It is impossible to be healthy physically without some companionship, and it is equally impossible to be healthy spiritually without a spiritual friend.
There is one passage of Scripture I want us to focus on this morning, that speaks to this need. It is found in the book of Ecclesiastes, which is kind of in the middle of your Bible. It comes just after Psalms and Proverbs, and before Song of Solomon and the major prophets of Isaiah and Jeremiah. This is a poetic work that was written by Solomon, the wisest of all men, toward the end of his life, when he reflected on all the things people strive for in life, and realized that we spend most of our lives chasing after things that are not important, and neglecting the things that matter most. It’s an interesting book of the Bible, and I encourage you to take a closer look at it this week – but for today, I want us to look at a paragraph from the fourth chapter, beginning with verse 9:
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one
falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no
one to help him up! 11 Also, if two lie down together, they
will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though
one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is
not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes
4:9-12 (NIV)
It’s possible that you’ve heard these verses before in a marriage ceremony, with the point made that God can be the third strand of the marriage relationship, causing it to be much more resistant to failure. That’s an OK application – nothing wrong with that, but it’s not really the context of the passage. If you look at the earlier part of this chapter, you will see that Solomon is not writing here about marriage, but about life – about work – about accumulating stuff – about the greed we have for other people’s stuff – and about how hard we work to get more stuff – striving alone under the sun, no end to our toil, never content with the things we have, all the while, alone and miserable. Sounds like the 21st Century doesn’t it? But this has been the condition of men for thousands of years.
Solomon tells us that there is an alternative – and it is companionship. This world is like a battle zone, we’ve been talking for weeks now about the Spiritual Warfare that surrounds us – good and evil battling for the hearts and souls of men, women and children.
In battle, as in every part of life, we need a companion – a battle buddy. You watch your buddy’s back, because you don’t know when you’ll need him to watch yours. The same is true in the spiritual battleground. Everyone in this room needs a battle buddy. This passage gives several reasons why it is important:
I. We accomplish more together
“Two are better than
one, because they have a good return for their work.” (vs. 9)
There is a synergy that occurs when we work with another person – we are able
to accomplish more working together than we could have working separate. It is encouraging to work alongside a
friend. We get energy and we support in our friendships.
Last weekend at my house we accomplished a seemingly overwhelming task –
hosted, performed and catered our daughters wedding. To attempt to do that alone would have been foolish and
impossible, but with friends it wasn’t impossible, it was incredible! When we work together we accomplish amazing
things! When we looked at our barn that
needed painting it seemed overwhelming – but with a team of friends, it was
done in a few hours!
We’ve seen it at other times – roofing a house, moving families to new homes, providing free Thanksgiving dinners to anyone who shows up – I’m sure we’ve all seen it in our lives.
This is not true only in physical tasks – Jesus said, “if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven, for where two or three come together in my name, there I am in the midst of them.” When we determine to work together, we can accomplish amazing things for the Kingdom of God. When just 7 of us went to Guadalajara a few years ago, and spent just 1 week there doing witnessing and visiting, we saw nearly 400 people pray to receive Christ!
Too often in life we take things in an individualistic mindset – especially the
spiritual and personal issues of life. If we are hesitant to ask someone to help us with our car repair, how
much more will we resist asking for help with our communication with our wife,
or our temper, or pornography? We have
an idea that we need to accomplish things on our own and not seek out help. The
problem is, when we operate that way we get burnt out, overwhelmed and
frustrated. We will never win the
battle alone. – which is our second reason:
II. We need each other.
“If one falls down, his friend can help
him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
Ecclesiastes 4:10
Relationships are designed to strengthen us. We are designed with a need for other people. It’s been rightly said
that all humans are born with a “God-shaped vacuum” inside them. That’s true – but we also have a
“human-shaped vacuum” as well. Whether
we realize it or not, we have a need for relationships in our lives.
Jesus had some amazing relationships. He had people around him who he loved and
poured his life into. Scripture tells us that he also used those friends for
support in his most difficult times.
“Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said
to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took Peter and
the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and
troubled.” Matthew 26:36-37 (NIV) At
all the major events in Jesus life we see him taking his disciples, but
particularly Peter, James and John. Those three had a special relationship with
Jesus and at his most trying time, he called on them for support.
The church was designed to be a support for one another. Scripture tells us to
work to build one another up. Hebrews
10:24 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and
good deeds.”
God gave individuals in the church specific gifts to help the church function
together and support one another. “He
who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and
some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of
service, so that the body of Christ may be built up” (Ephesians
4:11-12). Every member of the body
plays a role in supporting the others. You cannot do it alone! You were
not created to do it alone! We all need
someone to spur us along – to kick us in the butt every now and then and
motivate us!
III. We protect each other.
The third reason we need a battle buddy is for protection.
“Also, if two lie down together, they
will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though
one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is
not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:11-12)
There is strength in numbers. When
Jesus sent the disciples out to do ministry for the first time, He sent them
out in two by two – not alone. No one
likes to be in scary or dangerous situations alone. There are different types of protection we give to one another.
There is physical protection.
We give physical protection when we physically place ourselves in the service
and defense of others. Perhaps a victim
of violence or poverty, or a threat. Nehemiah called for the people of Jeursalem to “remember the Lord, who
is great and awesome and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters,
your wives and your homes.” There is an aspect of our lives where we are
willing to give up ourselves in protection of someone else.
Physical protection is when a 90-year-old survivor of the Holocaust blocks the
door with his body so his teen-aged students can escape his classroom at
Virginia Tech. It’s when a crossing
guard throws herself in front of a car to save a child from being hit in
Milwaukee. Physical sacrifice is an
aspect of love.
“This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your
friends.” John 15:13 (The Message)
There’s also spiritual protection
When we were in Guadalajara, some of the team encountered a
young man whose grandmother was, well, a witch. They young man accepted Christ, and asked for people to come and
meet his family and pray for him. My
team was called upon to go and simply pray for the team that was going to meet
his family. We stood around the corner
and prayed. There was spiritual battle
going on, and we were providing the covering fire while they engaged the enemy. Paul called on the believers in Ephesus to
“Pray for me so that when I open my mouth…I will fearlessly make known they
mystery of the gospel…” (Ephesians 6:19)
There is also moral protection.
Part of our role as fellow Christians is to help protect others from moral
failure.
Galatians 6:1, in the New Living Translation, says, “Dear brothers, if a Christian
is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help him
back onto the right path, remembering that next time it might be one of you who
is in the wrong.”
The term we use to describe this type of love is accountability. We need to have people in our lives who can
ask us the hard questions. We need people who will point out areas of weakness
and give us honest input into our lives.
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him
who is the Head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:15 (NIV)
Men, the enemy of your soul is out to trap you. He wants to destroy you, your
wife, your children, your church and your community. And if he cannot get you to turn your back on God, he will try to
isolate you and tempt you to destroy your family. The greatest thing you can do
to protect yourself is get other men involved in your life that can lovingly
speak the truth of God into you.
I want to invite you to one of the men’s groups that meet here at Gateway
Community Church. One meets on Monday
night at 7:00 – one on Tuesday evening at 7:00 and one on Saturday morning at
7:00.
You don’t have to get a battle buddy – but if you don’t, you’ll be vulnerable to discouragement and defeat. Sooner or later, you’ll look for a surrogate – a substitute buddy – something to fill the void – like a volleyball. But a volleyball is a poor substitute.