The Bible Top 40

Mastering the Tongue

Ephesians 4:29

[Movie Clip from My Fair Lady emphasizing the importance of speech.]

In the musical My Fair Lady, a Professor Higgins is challenged to take a common, “low-class” girl, Eliza Doolittle, and work with her over a few days to transform her into a woman who could pass for a cultured lady. Much of the metamorphosis is easily accomplished – a bath, new clothing, hair and makeup complete the exterior make-over. Other areas were a little more difficult – like her posture and walk. That was addressed as well, and within just a few days, the remade Miss Doolittle was able to walk into a room, be seated and carry herself in almost regal style. But when that cleaned, painted and minty-fresh mouth was opened, the real nature of the woman behind the makeup was exposed for all to see. Both the words spoken and the way in which they were spoken had to be radically altered in order for the transformation to be complete.

In the life of a Christian, a similar process takes place, and it can be as long, painful and frustrating for us as it was for poor Eliza. Last week, we looked at a passage of Scripture that talked about the walk – remember? Colossians 2:6 says, “As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him…” This week we are going to look at the talk.

In our study of the Bible Top 40, we turn today to the book of Ephesians, chapter 4, and verse 29. (788) Once again we find ourselves in one of the letters of Paul. Two weeks ago we were in Philippians, where we learned to not be anxioius about anything, but to pray about everything. Last week we were in Colossians, and this week Ephesians. If you are looking for a place to do some personal Bible Study – I would not hesitate to recommend these three relatively short letters. They are full of great teaching, and rich promises.

Ephesians 4:29 reads:

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

Let’s follow the pattern that we have been using for these passages – studying word by word, and phrase by phrase.

To me, the first word is huge. “LET.”

You know what is implied by that word, don’t you? It implies personal responsibility. When Paul says, “Let no corrupt word proceed…” he is implying that this is up to me. The opposite would be that I allow corrupt words to proceed from my mouth, right? It is a matter of what I allow – the decisions I make, the habits I cultivate.

This verse, then, is a personal challenge for us if we want to live a life that is pleasing to God. This letter was written, after all, to Christians, to people like you and I. Maybe it would surprise you that some Christians have trouble controlling their language – for others that may come as no surprise at all. In fact, it seems to me that there is very little difference between the talk of those who love the world, and those who love Jesus.

But there should be a big difference, according to these verses, and while there is a focus on bad language, which we will see, that is not the only message here.

Primarily, Paul points out the type of language we should avoid. He says, “Let no corrupt language proceed out of your mouth…” So, first of all, we have a type of language that should not be present. What do you suppose might be meant by that word “corrupt?” In our day, corrupt could mean “evil, crooked or bad,” like a “corrupt politician.” Or it could mean filled with errors, like corrupted data that will cause a computer program to crash.

In Paul’s day, the word he used here for corrupt was a word that was used to describe fish that had spoiled at the market after sitting in the sun too long. Or that one strawberry that you find at the bottom of the pint container that has more hair on it than your dad - it is “corrupt.” Other translations pick up on this and use words like, “rotten, foul, unwholesome, or worthless.” You get the point. This is language that is simply bad.

Most of you know that I work for the school district here in Mayville. I spend 180 school days each year with the students of our community. You would not believe the language I hear on a daily level from the children of our fair city. Words that I would not have dared whispering under my breath alone in the woods are part of the vocabulary of almost every conversation. It is simply bewildering!

And it does not matter who is around. I have heard principals and teachers confronted by students who used incredibly foul language – with little or no thought of consequence!

I don’t suppose I should be surprised – not when you consider the environment in which so many of our children are being raised today. Parents use rotten language, television and movies are filled with it, and so our children receive a constant diet of language that has gone from unacceptable to the norm in just a few years. Even children’s movies have words that are foul, and in each case, are not necessary to the plot of the movie. I guess our kids are simply reflecting what they have been taught is acceptable behavior.

Jesus said in Matthew 15, that it is what comes out of a man’s mouth that pollutes him, not what goes in. In verse 11 of that chapter, He says, “What goes into a man’s mouth does not make him “unclean,” but what comes out of his mouth.” Then in verse 18 he says, “The things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean.” What he is saying there is that our verbal output reflects our moral content. I had a friend who always used to describe times of tension as like “sqeezing a tube of toothpaste.” If you squeeze hard enough, what’s inside is going to come shooting out. The same is true of our lives. When the pressure is put on, and life begins to squeeze us, we often get the best indicator of our heart’s content.

So when we fill our lives with episodes of our favorite animated television show, or with entertainment that is full of bad language, soon it becomes a part of us. But it’s not just television, movies, music and radio. Today’s workplace is filled with “corrupt” language, isn’t it? It used to be that professional people carried themselves in a professional way, and spoke with appropriate language. Not any more. I hear teachers and administrators, salesmen and even pastors using language that I never would have expected. On Friday night I catered a reception for the football and cross-country coaches from the High School. Both of them were inducted in to the Wisconsin State Hall of Fame this year. It was more or less a “roast,” and one of the coaches is apparently famous for his use of the name of the Lord. Over and over people got up and celebrated how this man would use the name of Jesus Christ – to roars of laughter.

The more we hear this language, the more it becomes a part of us, and the more it becomes a part of us, the more we believe it to be acceptable, and so the more we hear it, and the more it becomes part of us, and the vicious, downward spiral begins.

Well, according to Jesus, when all we have is a steady diet of foul language, then that is just naturally what is going to come out.

If we want, then, to have good moral oral hygiene, we must have wholesome input. Since what comes out of our mouth is a reflection of the content of our heart, we must be careful what we fill our lives with. I believe we need to be a lot more careful of our choices of entertainment. We need to be a force for positive speak in our homes and workplace.

But this passage does not only focus on the words we choose per se, it also focuses on the effect those words have on others.

[Sweetly] “We can not use a single foul word, and yet be verbally ripping the arm of our fellow church member off and beating him over the head with the bloody stump!” And all in the name of Jesus!

Paul not only says what we should not allow out of our mouths, but he also tells us what should proceed out of our mouths.

Follow along in the verse.

“…But what is good for necessary edification…”

As opposed to rotting, worthless, foul words that hurt, Paul says that our language should be what is good for necessary edification. OK. What does that mean? When I was studying this week, I thought, “Why does he say ‘necessary edification’? Why not just say, “But what is edifying”? I did a little research, and I found that by combining the two words the way he did, Paul had something particular in mind – and it was to be particular.

Litteraly it reads, “for edifying of the need.” So what does edification mean?

The Greek word oikodome has within it the word dome, which has become the word we use for domain – our house. The word edify means, in essence, “the act of building up,” like building a home or other building. And by adding the word “necessary,” he is saying in effect, “build up the other person where they need it most.” Paul is not saying that as Christians, we should always be saying “Praise the Lord!” and “I love you, brother!” He is saying, build up that person in a specific way – where they need it most. Sometimes that is a word of encouragement, sometimes it is a word of correction. At other times it is a word of sympathy or consolation. The point it, it does no one any good to throw out vague generalities – our words should be words that are specific and applicable to the person and the circumstance.

We need to be the people who say, “Thanks,” or “I appreciate the way you…” Or, “There’s something that I need to talk to you about…” Sometimes the words are going to be hard to say, either because they are words of correction, or because they are words full of emotion, but we are to say them, for the edification of the hearer. In fact, our words are to be words that “impart grace to the hearer.”

What is “grace?” Who can define if for me?

Grace is, at its very core, “that which imparts joy, pleasure, sweetness.” When we speak of the Grace of God, we are talking about Him granting us fellowship with Him when we did not deserve it. He looked beyond our flaws and sin and saw people He loved. He offers us fellowship with Himself – that does not mean He embraces all our sin – He embraces us. He convicts us where we need to improve, He encourages us through the Holy Spirit and His Word, and He gives us joy and peace and love – He is grace-full!

Just as God had given us His love when we were unworthy, we need to be dispensers of grace with our words. If we see someone doing something honorable, we need to encourage them, and praise them. If we see someone in error, we need to “gracefully” point it out to them, and minister to them in God’s grace. Paul tells us that our words should impart grace to the hearer. The end result of graceful words will be the building up of the other person, not their destruction.

In application, let’s look at this on two levels. Paul wrote this letter to a church in Ephesus, so let’s look at this first on that plane – as a church.

I would love to be able to stand here and tell you that we’ve never had a problem with talk in this church. That the only words that have been spoken have been words of edification and grace. But, honestly, that is not the case. In the last year, we have seen the effects of destructive, critical talk gone wild. It has caused a lot of pain, and has affected to a greater or lesser extent every part of this church. Without going into specifics of the situation, I do want to share with you that the Leadership Team, on our recent retreat, discussed this at some length, and we have put in place some guidelines that we as a church will be following. First, following the words of Jesus in Matthew chapter 5 – if you come to church and you have something against another – you go and get that settled before you come to worship. You go – that’s right. You don’t go to the pastor, you don’t go to your friend, you don’t go to someone you don’t know – you go to the one you have this problem with, and you get it settled. Jesus said not to come to the alter unless it’s been settled. Secondly, if you approach the pastor, or a leader, we will go and get, or call and invite the other person to come, and then we will leave the two of you to work it out. Thirdly, if anyone who is part of this church hears or overhears talk that is not edifying, you are encouraged to confront it and stop that talk – it is not proper and should not be tolerated. If you find yourself being engaged in such talk – bring it to a stop – or leave.

Of course, if there is a spiritual failure involved, or some dangerous or even criminal act, then we have a responsibility to report it to the leadership – but I am talking about the gossipy – personality conflict type of stuff that can simply destroy a church.

But while Paul was writing to a congregation in Ephesus, he was certainly addressing his thoughts to individuals, and we need to look at these verses on a personal level as well. How much of my conversation is rotten? It has become so common in our culture to tear each other down – to poke fun – to belittle. I know – I fall prey to it as well as anyone. Our talk is often seasoned with innuendo rather than seasoned with grace. We incorporate the catch phrases and profanity of the world around us into our own speech with amazing speed and with little thought or effort.

But keeping that from happening takes a lot of thought and tremendous effort. First, we need to address what is in our hearts. Jesus said that the stuff that escapes our lips comes from our hearts – what am I filling my heart with? Is it Godly, uplifting encouraging input, or is it ungodly, unwholesome and profane? We may need to make some radical changes in our environment. But we can not hope to escape all sources of the cultures input – how do we go the next step?

We need to pray. Pray for control. Pray for those we want to criticize. Pray for the Holy Spirit to grant us Godly tongues. And then we need to work. We need to break those bad habits of speech and critical attitudes. We need to break the habit of gossip. We need to recognize them for what they are – sin – and turn away from them. It takes work, it takes effort – it is my responsibility. Remember that first big word – let? I need to not allow that corrupt, rotting, evil talk to escape my lips, and even more importantly, I need to clean it from my heart. That is a work that is done only with the supernatural help of the Holy Spirit.

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.