Mother’s Day, 2001
Matthew 15:21-28
Skit – The Night Light (Willow Creek Assoc.)
Most moms know the experience of waking up in the middle of the night, when you’re tired and everything around you is dark and still and you’re alone with a little person who is screaming and screaming and you don’t know why because you haven’t been together long enough to know one another.
I can remember nights when I would wake up to find Carol in the living room, crying out of frustration and fear. Not knowing what was wrong, what to do, or how she was going to make it through the night. It always seems like the nights are the worst. Your body cries out for rest, problems seem to be much larger in the middle of the night, and the feeling of loneliness can be suffocating.
On this Mother’s Day, we are going to take a look at a mom who was in a very dark place. She was at the end of her rope. She didn’t know what to do, or how she was going to make it through another day. Her story is found in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 15, verses 21-28. And I believe there are some dramatic lessons that we can learn from her experience.
Let’s start with the setting.
In verse 21 we are told that Jesus left the area of Galilee and moved north and west to the area of Tyre and Sidon. This was a Gentile area. Mark’s telling of this same story reveals that He went into a home, hoping that no one would know He was there. It is possible that He wanted some time to retreat with his disciples, or He may have sensed that things were moving too rapidly. Jesus was always mindful of the Father’s timetable, so perhaps He went away to allow things to cool off a bit. For whatever reason, He has brought His disciples to this Gentile region. And He purposely went to be alone.
But His goal of being left alone was not to be. Because a woman, a Gentile woman, somehow heard that Jesus was in this home, and she came there, and cried out for Jesus to save her daughter who was demon possessed.
Demon Possessed. I guess I can’t imagine a much darker night than that, can you? I don’t know any parent who wouldn’t be devastated by such a condition. When a child is suffering, a parent knows no rest. I remember this summer, when Andrew was dealing with a long bout of stomach and intestinal problems. I don’t think I have ever felt so helpless, so frustrated. I wanted so badly to take the mality on myself. To allow him to enjoy the summer weather, and have lots of fun. I would have gladly been the one who was, it seemed to us, wasting away before our eyes.
Some of you know what I mean. You’ve had sick kids, too. Some have sick kids right now. And your heart breaks for them. You’d do anything to grant them relief and health. But there’s little we can do. I remember when Andrew was ill, we were in a motel in St. Paul at the time, and he went into the bathroom, and I was so filled with hurt, and fear, and frustration that I just started punching the pillows on the bed as hard as I could! You should have seen Carol’s eyes! She was so shocked and bewildered by my actions! But I just felt so helpless. You see, guys – dads - feel that they need to fix stuff. We feel like we need to fix the dryer, fix the car, and fix the broken hearts. You women know this. You tell us you’ve had a bad day at work, and you just want us to listen and empathize, but we hear you and want to fix it! “Well you know, dear, if you tried this or that you wouldn’t have to deal with this problem any more.” Dads just want to fix stuff – even the unfixable.
Ah, but not moms. Moms know that some things just can’t be fixed. Moms know that sometimes all we can do is listen, and care, and hold that sick person, and pray.
And that’s exactly what this mom did. She went to Jesus.
Verse 22 – And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him saying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon possessed!”
Take a look at that prayer for a minute. The heart-felt, gut wrenching cries of desperation for God’s help. She cries out for mercy. She knew that she had no rights before this man. She was a woman, and a gentile woman at that. Jewish Rabbis would not speak to Jewish women, let alone a gentile. So she begins by acknowledging that she is unworthy. “Have mercy, Lord!” she cries, “Please don’t treat me as I deserve, but have mercy on me!” Secondly, she calls Him “Lord,” and “Son of David.” Even though she is not a Jew, she obviously recognizes Jesus as far more than a “teacher.” “Son of David” was a Jewish title for the Messiah. Even as a gentile, she obviously had heard and seen enough to be convinced that this was the Son of God, the Messiah. She knew that there was nowhere else to go, and so she came to Him.
Verse 23 is a difficult verse. It reads very tersly, “But He answered her not a word.”
We don’t like that verse do we? What do you mean He didn’t answer her? How could He ignore the pleas of this mother for her sick child? How could He not say a word to her? How can a woman plead before God for a sick child and not be heard? How can she humble herself so publicly, and recognize Him for who He is, and not be recognized by Him by even so much as a single word?
It is very important that we not forget who Jesus is. He is God. He knows this woman’s heart, and He deals with every person He encounters in a unique and personal way. There are examples of Jesus with other gentiles where HE initiates the discussion, like the Samaritan woman at the well. When approached by a rich young man, once, Jesus was very cordial, and walked Him through the steps to become a disciple, but when another wealthy man came along, he was short and terse, knowing that the man had no desire to make Jesus the Lord of his life. When a Roman soldier came to Jesus about a sick child, Jesus was inclined to go with him right away, but the soldier said, “I am a man of authority, all I have to do is give an order and it is done. You can do the same.” And Jesus was amazed at his faith and healed his son immediately. He called the Pharisees “whitewashed containers that contained dead men’s bones,” yet the clearest discussion we have about being born again, and the most well known of Jesus words were spoken to Nicodemus, a Pharisee.
It is dangerous thing for us to put God in a box. To have in our minds a specific answer that He has to have. It just isn’t so. It wasn’t that way when Jesus walked the earth, and it’s not so now. He deals with each of us according to what He knows we need.
Now in this particular case, Jesus knew that this woman had faith, and notice that He did not reject her – He did not say, “no.” Rather, He said nothing at all. Sometimes that’s the way it will be for us. We pray, we know we’re coming to the right place, we humble ourselves, we ask for God’s mercy, and we hear not a word. No answer. Why? Well, the truth is we may not know, and we may never know, but God knows. He knows which answer is the best, He knows when no answer is the best. In our story here, Jesus knew that his woman had some faith. He heard her words of testimony and more importantly He knew her heart. His silence actually caused her to ask all the more, to the point where the disciples were tired of hearing it.
Look at their response. “Lord, send her away, for she cries out after us.” I can almost hear the frustration in Peter’s voice, can’t you? “Come on, Lord, do something! I thought we came here to have some anonymity and peace and quiet! Send her away, either heal her kid, or don’t heal her kid, but get rid of her!” It is not unusual for a mom to be treated this way when seeking God. When a godly woman in the Old Testament was desperately seeking God, and praying for all her might, the priest saw her lips moving and accused her of being drunk! The woman who brought all she had to the temple offering was ridiculed.
And the same can happen today. When moms seek what’s best for their child, when moms seek God’s will for their children, and pray for their children, and try to raise their children with godly values, quite often they will find opposition – sometimes even within the circle of Jesus’ friends.
But this is a mom – and nothing is going to stop her from getting through. She is going to keep asking, keep crying out to God, until she gets an answer. In fact, the more she has to ask, the greater her faith. Notice that Jesus does not shut her up; He does not rebuke her. Rather, by His silence, he invites her to continue to ask. And ask she did.
When Jesus did respond, after the disciples urging to do something, He said, (vs. 24) “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Again, Jesus was not closing the door, He was simply reminding the disciples and the woman that timing was not right for this. His ministry at that time was primarily targeted to the Jews.
Notice her response – she cried out all the more, and she added one more thing – she began to worship Him. She had recognized him for who He was all along, but she now bows before Him in worship – you know, sometimes when we are caught up in our problems and needs we lose sight of our need to stop and worship. Worship is such a vital part of our lives. We need to gather for corporate worship as a church, but we also need to worship personally. To honor Him for who He is – to praise Him, to love Him, to humble ourselves before Him. This mom worshiped Jesus as God, humbled herself before Him and cried out, “Lord, help me!”
Anybody else wonder where dad is during this? I think he’s probably at home, punching the pillows in frustration at not being able to fix the problem!
Upon seeing receiving her worship, and hearing her cries for help, Jesus said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” Now, at first blush, that seems really cruel. We might think that Jesus is now acting like a Pharisee, calling this gentile a “dog.” But in the original language, the word for dog here refers to the family pet. It is more along the lines of the much-loved family puppy, which gets little pieces of dinner sneaked to it by the family members.
She picks up on this right away, and responds with the same word, in effect saying, “Yes, Lord, but even the puppy occasionally gets a few scraps from the table!” This is a great statement of faith! She knows that she doesn’t need to be the only focus of Jesus’ attention. She knows that even the leftovers of His mighty power will be enough to heal her daughter. What faith she has in Jesus!
This is one of those times when Jesus is amazed at the faith of a gentile. Can’t you just see His face as He smiles, and says, “O, woman, great is your faith! Your desire is granted!” Can you imagine how she must have felt? To have looked into His face, and seen His approval, and heard His words? WOW! That must have been so cool! The text tells us that from that very hour her daughter was healed. In Mark’s account, we find that she rushed home, and found her daughter in bed, resting, but free from her demons.
So what are some practical lessons we can gleen from this little story for our moms today?
First, mom, when you find yourself in those dark, lonely hours, wondering what to do, where to turn for help, run to Jesus. No other source can give the help you need the way He can. Recognize Him for who He is, worship Him, trust Him, have that kind of faith that can’t be ignored.
Secondly, don’t mistake silence for absence. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that since God hasn’t answered your prayer, then He isn’t there; of He doesn’t care. The silence may be part of the answer. The silence may be the answer. We don’t know. The mom in the story didn’t know how it was going to work out, but she kept praying.
Which brings us to our third lesson. Mom – let me tell you something – your prayers change things. They can even change the heart of God. Now hear me out! I’m not denying God’s sovereignty, but just because God knows what’s going to happen doesn’t mean that we don’t have to do our part. Jesus was inclined to not heal this mom’s daughter. His ministry was at this time focused on the Jews. He didn’t do it right away. Of course He knew that she had the faith, but what if she had quit asking after he said, “I was sent for the lost sheep of Israel”? What if she had not persisted? I know there are some who would take issue with me, go ahead. Jesus told a parable about another woman who came before a judge crying out for justice, but the judge wouldn’t hear her, but she came back, and came back, and came back until the judge finally said, “This woman is driving me crazy with her crying out to me, grant her what she wants!” After telling that parable, Jesus said, in effect, “If an evil judge will be persuaded by persistent requests, how much more will God hear those who cry out day and night to Him?” James tells us that the “the effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
Prayer changes things! It makes a difference! And mom, your prayers make a difference in the life of your kids. Think of the difference this mom’s prayers made in the life of her daughter. What kind of life would this girl have had as a demon-possessed woman? Tormented her entire life – racked by evil desires and attacked by demonic forces? Her life would have been terrible! Satan is the author of distruction – chances ar her life would have been vicious and brief. But this mom was a woman of great faith, and she went to the One she knew could make a difference, and she prayed, and she sought after God, and she kept at it until she got an answer. Let me tell you something, mom, while dad is out there frustrated because he can’t fix it – you have the greatest power on earth at your disposal – you can take that care, that despair, that fear, to God Himself in prayer and find One who hears and answers. It may not always be the answer you want to hear, and you may not hear an answer for some time, or you could get a dramatic answer immediately – remember, God will deal with each of us as He knows is best – but you can be certain of one thing – He hears, and He cares, and He WILL do what is best, every time, for every one of His children.
“O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.” Wouldn’t you just love to hear those words one day, as you look into the eyes of Jesus? I urge you to follow the example of this anonymous woman of great faith – be a woman of prayer.